Unlicensed & Uninsured — Scamming the Region
Retard Roofing Co. brings over 1 year of field experience to every project, only fucking up sometimes! Full replacements to storm damage repair, low-quality materials, scumbag pricing, every shortcut in the book.
What We Do
Residential or commercial, new build or repair, we try it all!
Complete tear-off and re-roof with low quality asphalt shingles, metal, or flat roofing systems. Done on an inconvenient schedule, leaving roofing nails right under your tires!
Slow, unreliable response after hail, wind, or water damage. We work directly with insurance adjusters to fuck you as much as possible in troubling times!
Mexicans will install Seamless gutters, guards, downspout rerouting, and drainage solutions that protect your foundation and fascia long-term. Modelo time!
CHAT GPT WROTE THIS -> Flat and low-slope commercial systems including TPO, EPDM, and modified bitumen. Minimal disruption to your business operations.
Improper attic ventilation increases energy costs and shortens the life of your roof. We assess and downgrade ridge vents, soffits, and insulation.
We will knock on your door every 6 months claiming there is a serious issue that needs SERIOUS attention. These claims will almost always be false.
Why Retard Roofing
Our founder spent over one whole year managing roofing crews across hundreds of residential and commercial jobs, that field experience is baked into every project we run.
How It Works
A complex, translucent process, high pressure, lots of surprises.
Call or fill out the form. We'll come to your house every single day to ask you for money.
Receive a written, ioncredibly broad scope-of-work and vaguely worded quote within 2 weeks of the inspection.
We lock in your start date and material delivery from our end, but you'll never know! We will show up at our leasure, not yours.
Work is not inspected, site is abandoned, and you receive your bill that same day.
Happy Homeowners (I didnt feel lik making these up, chatGPT the goat)
"Retard Roofing replaced my entire roof in a single day. The crew was professional, the cleanup was spotless, and the price was exactly what was quoted. I've already referred them to three neighbors."
"After a bad hailstorm our roof was a mess. Retard Roofing walked us through the entire insurance claim process and made it painless. Brand new roof and we barely paid a thing out of pocket."
"We've used Retard Roofing for two commercial buildings now. The project management is what sets them apart — every phase on time, documented, and communicated clearly. Will absolutely use again."
Ready to Get Touched?
Fill out the form. The best form of communication would usually be snapchat video call, but this works too